Finding Gods of Compassion

Many times when I do readings I get the message to tell someone not to be so hard on themselves; to give themselves time to heal from the wounds that the world has given them.  And inevitably, the client (especially my deeply pagan clients) look at me with surprise.  They then proceed to tell me that their God is not the type to allow someone to wallow in pity.  Instead, they tell me their Gods and Goddesses are the type to push someone to ‘suck it up’ and get on with it.

I fully agree, to an extent.  As someone who feels very honored to have a relationship with Odin, I know first hand that there are Gods out there that want us to ‘get on with it’.  They want us to accept our shortcomings and grow up.

But that request to ‘grow up’ or ‘get over it’ isn’t the same as giving ourselves time to heal from the deep wounds that the world gives us. And in that aspect, I think that we are missing an important factor in the relationship with our Gods.  Although they want us to grow, Gods and Goddesses can also can be compassionate and supportive of us being compassionate for ourselves and for our fellow human beings. 

Now before you start getting weirded out by images of Odin sitting around a camp fire holding hands and singing, hear me out.

We know that during early periods of civilization the Gods moved around within pantheons a lot.  We know that at times one God usurped another when civilization changed.  Gods of the wildlands were replaced or altered to represent the fertile fields and of agriculture.  And in time, those Gods were also altered or replaced to represent war and protection from other civilizations thirsting for conquest.  I’m not going to get into all the specifics, but they are all there in the history books for anyone to see.  And this happened in many different civilizations.

The point that I’m trying to make is that the Gods changed when humanity needed them to.  And for thousands of years, humanity was OK with that.  In fact, in our current time, we have been known to modify our own practices to mold to our own needs.  And even from a reconstructionist pagan standpoint, we see that modification today.

For an example, let’s look at Beltane, the fertility festival celebrated by many pagans around the world.  This festival was originally a fertility rite, both for the fields and for fertility of our species.  We still see this holiday as a perfect time for couples to do fertility rites to get pregnant, but we recognize that the survival of the species because of lack of fertility is not as serious of an issue today as it was two thousand years ago.  We don’t need to utilize that rite to secure survival of our species.  In fact, I think we all can agree that there is an overabundance of humans now on the planet.

So what do we do with this fertility rite?  Do we stop celebrating it, or do we reframe it to our needs today?  What we find is that many pagans do a very good job of reframing it.  We still honor and remember those of long ago and why they celebrated Beltane, but instead of fertility for the fields and for our species, pagans might celebrate the rites to work towards the fertility of money, the fertility of ideas that would allow them to further their careers or the fertility of wisdom and aid with the goal of bettering themselves in some way in order to continue to honor the Gods on this plane of existence.  And I think we can all agree that the Gods worshiped during the height of Beltane haven’t abandoned us because we modified the rites to more clearly represent what our needs are in this day and age.

I’ve pointed out that we have modified rites to reflect our current culture, and I’ve also pointed out that the Gods have changed based on the needs of the population at the time.  Now what does all of this have to do with the Gods having compassion?

One of the biggest needs of the day in my mind is compassion.  Open your favorite social media site and I can guarantee you will find something in your feed that is argumentative.  You may also find something that will get you frustrated or even angry.  It’s a very easy example because it happens on a regular basis.  Want another?  Drive your daily commute, or just drive anywhere on a highway in fact.  We are human, we are going to get angry at the person who just jumped in front of us and slammed on their brakes, or who decided to drive in the faster lane of the road yet is going under the speed limit for some reason.

All of this anger has slowly built up over the years to the point where we are today.  For years we have let the anger fester in our minds and souls, causing us finally to lash out at ‘those’ type of people.  Those that don’t think like us, those that don’t act like us, or those that believe differently than us.  We have become a polarized world that praises ‘sticking it’ to the other person over trying to come up with a compromise.

It didn’t happen overnight.  And there are more root causes of the problem than anger, but built up anger is absolutely a part of the problem.  We hold anger for ourselves, hold anger for our lot in life, hold anger and jealousy at others for having more, or for getting more assistance than us.  The anger bubbles up at our politicians (who may deserve it from time to time) and causes us to lash out at others who disagree.  And to battle we go.

For many of us, we feel like we either have limited options.  We could either take a side and fight for it, get the heck out of the way of the arguing forces or be run over; a casualty of the environment that has been slowly forming over many years.

Any one of those stances is going to cause anyone to have battle damage.  And this isn’t even the worst of the battle damage we carry around.

Our upbringings aren’t always rosy.  Our relationships with others can become abusive.  Life has its traumas, and we endure each and every one of them, but they don’t leave us exactly how we were prior to the situation.  Sometimes the changes are physical; a scar appears where a wound once was.  Sometimes the wounds are emotional, and we end up hardening some to those around us.  But no matter if the wounds were physical or emotional, there is a spiritual component to the wound as well.  Hardened hearts change the outlook on our spirituality.  Perhaps we stop caring as much about helping those in need because we are bitter about our own circumstances.  Perhaps we end up angry at our Gods for allowing things to be the way they are.

The world is changing, it’s getting more rough edges, and because of it we are hardening more than we realize.  I’ve seen even the most compassionate of Shamans make critical comments against another in the current hardened climate.  And I know I’ve done it myself numerous times.

Yes, there are times when we must be hard.  Perhaps we must defend ourselves from those abusers or from those that would do us ill will.  That is important too.

But what do we do with all the pain, anger and battle damage that has struck at our core and dimmed our spirit?

Why not give it to the Gods as an offering of endurance?

Why not ask for their aid to heal properly so that our souls can shine again?

Why not ask for their strength to see situations with compassion in an effort to make the outcome less hardened?

This is different than just ‘getting on with it’.  There will be times in everyone’s life that the hardened edge they encounter is small enough that it does little damage.  That is when it is perfectly acceptable to hear from our Gods that we must just ‘get on with it’.

But what about when the hurts are so great that they affect our daily lives?  What about those who have suffered any form of abuse for any period of time?  What about the traumas of life that shake you to the very core?  I don’t believe the Gods want to just look at us and say, ‘get on with it’.  Sure, we may THINK that is what they want us to do, but perhaps that is how we are conditioned to believe.  We’ve had almost 2000 years of a religion that has given us the group mentality that we are scum and not worthy of taking time for ourselves.  This religion has told us for years that we are unworthy of healing or compassion, and that we have to grovel and beg for healing and forgiveness.

Christianity has provided us with a group mind and culture that says we are weak and lacking.  Advertising agencies have already picked up on this and used it to sell us products to make us feel better.  Many people start waking up, and reach to Pagan Gods and Goddesses, (the very ones we think tell us to ‘get over it’) in order to get out of that mindset, and that is fantastic.  But are we allowing our personal beliefs to also make us feel better, or make us worse in other places?

At the very least, consider that the Gods and Goddesses that you are willing to fight for, the Divinity that you know will fight by your side, is also a Divinity that would be willing to tend to the wounds that you received from the fight you fought together.  That isn’t an unreasonable request, and one that could easily happen on the battlefields of old.

And if you are willing to go that far, also consider that sometimes the wounds that you receive may put you out of the fight for a while, and perhaps your God or Goddess understands that better than you realize.  Recognize too that if you could no longer fight, the Gods and Goddesses were compassionate enough to give you a place to go after you passed this plane of existence.

In my own personal journeys with Odin and Loki, I’ve come to realize that they are accepting of me when I am at my best, but they also are accepting of me when I am at my weakest.  Loki especially encourages me to look at my areas of weakness and learn to make them strong, and he has shown me that brute strength is not enough to do that.  In order to become stronger, you also have to have compassion, you have to have the courage to allow yourself to be weak, and perhaps even show that weakness to others in order to allow them to help you find your strength.  Compassion allows us to accept who it is we are without the glamour or lies that we tell ourselves.  Compassion allows us to look at the wounds we have received in battle and honestly evaluate them to understand how we need to heal.  And compassion is what we need to recognize the true amount of time we need to do that.

If we can expect our Gods and Goddesses to accept our feats of strength as appropriate offerings, why not also allow our feats of courage and compassion to be offerings to them as well?  Especially in today’s world, it’s going to take a significantly larger amount of effort to show compassion than to follow the status quo.  In those times when compassion is most needed, wouldn’t it be a better offering to show that compassion since it does take so much more effort?

And if you were one of the millions in this world who has emotional, physical and spiritual wounds, don’t you think your Gods would want you to heal as well as you can from those wounds?  And in order to heal fully, don’t you think that you have to have compassion for yourself?  So why wouldn’t a God or Goddess not have compassion for you?  Wouldn’t they be proud of you, because they know you realize that fighting isn’t something that is going to allow you to heal properly?

Perhaps it’s time for us to shift our thinking.  Perhaps it’s time we honor our Gods and Goddesses with different offerings; acts of compassion and beauty.  Maybe we need to recognize that even though they may not seem like a form of divinity that would react with compassion, perhaps they at least have understanding of the compassion that we need to have for ourselves and each other.  And perhaps they already are ready to adapt to that compassion to help de-escalate the polarization of the world.

 

Remember – There Are Four Lights

As I reflect on what has happened since the inauguration, I realize that the next four years are going to be harder to deal with than I had ever imagined.  The first several days in office, and we are already introduced to things like the new presidential cheering section that follows the President to force other people to laugh and applaud at what he says.  We are also forced to deal with the new lovely term ‘alternative facts’ and the danger they can pose when people start believing them to be true.  And of course, this is just the icing on the cake; he’s already working to dismantle policies that could have detrimental effect on American citizens and our environment.  I hate to say it, but all of this has just made my mind spin.

Part of me wants all of this to stop.  Just days after the new government was installed, part of me doesn’t want to listen anymore.  My social medial feeds, already full of political posts are also now full of arguments between friends on what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ for our country.  And while some of the conversations are civil, many get out of control pretty darn fast.

I thought I had put down enough of a plan of action in my post just after the election.  But now I realize I what I said I would do is not enough.  As I said in that post, I don’t want to be political.  I don’t want this blog to become a political activist page.  Certainly standing up for what you believe in is a spiritual pursuit, but it is not my role to be a politician or political activist 100% of the time.  And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.  I know there are others that are just so fed up with it that they are ready to ignore the entire government and any action they take in the next four years.

But that’s what the current administration WANTS us to do.

I am betting that one of the reasons there is so much media coverage on the numbers of people present at the inauguration vs the Women’s March this weekend along with the other hotly debated items is to push people to do just that – stop.  Stop considering about becoming part of the democratic process by letting their voice be heard.  Stop pushing forward because no matter what you believe, the polarized social networks are now just so in-your-face about things that it’s just too hard to have a dissenting opinion.  The more the pundits speak, the more zinger tweets that get shared, the more spin gets out there and the more the real issues get buried.

A meme I saw last night put everything into perspective for me.  It took me a moment to remember the episode (I’m not as strong on Star Trek as I am Star Wars), but it was a meme based on an episode of “Star Trek the Next Generation.” In the episode, Captain Picard was being tortured by a Cardassian.  During the torture, he was shown four lights.  But he was told that his torture would stop if he would only agree that there were five lights that he was being shown, not four.  All he had to do was say there were five lights, and he could live in luxury for the rest of his life and all the pain would end.  The meme speaks for itself what the conclusion of that episode; he was rescued, and as he was leaving, he yelled at the Cardiassian that there were four lights. bbtio4l

And thanks to that meme, I realize that it’s time for more evasive action.  I needed to do more; to reevaluate my plans in how to deal with the issues coming up in these next four years.

While thinking about these things, I came across two posts from John Beckett on Patheos.com.  The first was about maintaining the Sovereignty of your Mind.  In that post he spoke about what I realized when I saw the above meme.  This truly is going to be a fight for the hearts and minds of the American People in the next four years.  And many people are going to give up; they are going to see all of the chaos caused by the media about the minuscule arguments, and it’s going to take its toll.  We need to be aware of that, and we need to be aware of that now.  We have to set our minds up to filter through the noise so that we can see the real issues that will need to be addressed.

Secondly, John spoke about having an agenda for the next four years.  And again, he is spot on.  Even when we start removing the noise from the media, we aren’t going to be able to save everything.  We are going to need to have our own agenda.  No one can make these decisions for us.  We are going to have to think deeply about what decisions we want to voice our opinion against, and what ones we can live with.  We need to also ensure that we remain healthy.  We still need to maintain a healthy balance in our lives, or else we will just burn out.  This is a marathon, not a sprint, and we haven’t even completed the first mile yet.  Pacing is going to be key, and having that balance between activism, spiritualism and other efforts in life is going to be our pacer.

Thanks to an app called countable, I will be more up to date on what congress is actually doing without relying on media news feeds or listening to social action networks.  So my words will be more in line with what is actually going on, when it is going on, and will be appropriate responses.  I’m cutting down my intake of social media even more, and plan to keep my news intake to a minimum (10 minutes on NPR during a news update should be enough.)

I still firmly believe that human rights are not something that should be a political football; that they transcend politics, no matter what your race, creed, religion or your sexuality.  I also believe that we still need to be caretakers of this great earth of ours.  She is a giver of life, not a resource to be mined uncontrollably.  At this point I don’t care if you call me a liberal, a conservative, or whatever.  These fights transcend politics.  They are things that should be embedded in our hearts, and our actions day in and day out should reflect them.

I wish sometimes that I wasn’t the type of person that pushes through conflict.  I sometimes wish things were easier than what they have to be.  I wish for it, but I already know that this is one wish I shouldn’t have granted.  It’s the one thing that won’t change.  We live, we struggle, we grow from the struggle, and the growth allows us to get ready for the next struggle.  I guess this time the struggle is simply something outside my comfort zone.  The cycle sounds simple enough, but it is the basis for all of the growth of this planet.  It is so embedded in our DNA that it’s a part of growth itself.  And even though it’s a hard cycle to continue, by doing our best to honor it we also honor those that were a part of putting this cycle into motion.

Taking Action

I didn’t want to start writing political posts.  I didn’t want to be a political activist.  For most of my adult life, speaking up when something mattered to me as well as voting in each election was enough.  Most of the rest to me was just noise.  But now in the political and polarized society that is now the United States.   I can’t just be someone who just watches what happens anymore.  Too many people are using this election as the excuse to demean and downright bully their fellow man.  I can’t stand idly by and watch that happen.

My own introverted self would much rather go back to talking about my own self-improvement and my own spiritual exercises.  I would also much rather continue to stretch myself by providing intuitive messages to help others in their own quests for knowledge and improvement.  But that isn’t the world we live in anymore.  And that is something that I become painfully aware of the minute I get on social media and see the news.  We are a nation that is more polarized, angry and full of fear.  And we have to do something about it.

It took me more time than I expected, but I have been figuring out things that I can do to help matters.  I already know my activism will be much different than someone else, and that’s alright.  We all need to be able to help in our own way.  So what my activism is going to look like is below.  I offer it as ideas for others to shape their own.

I don’t care who you voted for anymore. People might not like to hear this, and I understand.  But the truth of the matter is that almost half of the people in this country voted for someone whom almost the other half believes to be immoral in some form or fashion.  Another group voted for someone else whom others feel is immoral.  And another significant portion of this country didn’t vote.  Now we can choose to continue the polarization of the United States by just trying to side with 1/3 to 1/2 of the nation that believes exactly like we do, or we can try to give the benefit of the doubt that some people voted the way they did because they felt like they had no other choice.  Some of the long conversations that I’ve had since the election include those who call themselves republicans, and yet are just as upset as I am at the violence that they see happening.  In those conversations we have acknowledged that violence has happened on both sides of the political spectrum, and that violence against anyone isn’t getting us anywhere.

If someone clearly disrespects someone else based on their creed, race, gender, belief or ethnicity, that is a different story entirely. In that case we know why they voted the way they did and they don’t have my support.  And I will do my best to keep my eyes open to prejudice and do what I can to combat it.   But until someone’s actions tell me otherwise, I’m willing to do what I can to provide support to anyone who needs it.

I will respectfully listen to what you have to say, but you better back it up with credible news sources.  In turn, others need to respectfully listen to me and should I bring up an incident, I better be able to back it up as well.  Media spin is crazy, and it’s keeping us polarized.  Everything is getting spun depending on who it is that is writing the story.  Even this weekend, there is already lots of spin regarding Vice President Elect Mike Pence being ‘bullied’ and ‘called out’ when he went to see the musical Hamilton.  He wasn’t ‘bullied’, as some still believe.  There is a video of the actual situation that is floating out there that I’ve watched, and the most accurate story that I have seen that matches the video is here.  If you won’t be respectful of me, then I have no choice to put you in the group that I spoke about above, and you aren’t worth my time or energy to address.  And in that case, you have probably made up your mind a long time ago, and refuse to think anyone else could be right.

It’s time to be active on what the real issues are. We are going to see lots of memes, hear lots of talking points and discussion on what is said by the elected leaders in the next four years.  But none of that matters until it gets into the actions of the government when they take over January 20.  Even the proposed attorney general needs to have confirmation by the United States Senate, and he didn’t pass a confirmation previously because of his racial comments.  So instead of posting memes and replying to comments, perhaps it’s time to start calling our current and new senate leaders and start voicing our opposition now.  And if that doesn’t work, volunteering or giving money to the ACLU and other civil rights organizations so that they can continue to fight on our behalf are other good ideas.

I’m not saying protesting is a bad idea.  Protesting is utilizing our first amendment rights, and it’s very important.  But we need to have a multi-faceted approach to our political work now.  And where I may not be able to protest, I’m going to at least make the calls and write the letters.

It’s time to be active on a metaphysical level. One of the things that has been very effective in the past is when pagans unite at a specific date and time to send prayers and energy to help overcome a situation.  If we can do that more often, even once a month, it may help to lessen the effects that we have to deal with for the next four years.  So I’m working with some friends in order to figure out how something like that would work.  Perhaps if we start organizing these types of things a week or two in advance, more people can participate.  This would also allow us to focus our energy on what is needed the most at a specific time.  Further, any network that is put together I want to see done on a private level.  That way each person has a choice to promote the event or not, and are not immediately ‘outed’ by joining a certain Facebook or Google+ group.  I will provide more detail as things progress on that front (or comment here if you would like to have that information when it is ready).

 

One thing is clear to me; here in the United States, we will need to fight to keep the things that we have achieved.  We are not going to win on everything, but if we can stick together, we can help lessen the effects of this administration, and perhaps become more united than we are right now.

 

 

 

When the Spiritual Obstacles get Real

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I have been away from my blog for the past two weeks, but it wasn’t because I wanted to be.  Instead, I got hit by the current round of the flu.  And this wasn’t just any flu.  This was the ‘not-keeping-anything-down-or-up-my-head-is-going-to-explode-wow-does-this-hurt’ flu.

I’m lucky in that the seasonal stuff rarely puts me down.  The last round of the flu I was hit with was years ago.  But when I do get hit with it, I go down hard.  Even now, two weeks after the initial onset, I’m still not fully back to what I think of as my ‘normal’ physical state.

Now I’ve realized however, that it wasn’t totally the flu that put me down for that long. I mean yes, I did have a virus that I had to get out of my body.  But the recovery time is taking a lot longer because of things that I am doing, or not doing.  In short, I’m not treating myself very well.

Because I’m still trying to cope with my limited amount of activity, my diet has gotten to the point where comfort food is almost always at the top of my choices (and goes without saying that the comfort food of my choosing is always the fat or sugar laden kind).  I’m still trying to do more than my body can handle as my current exercise levels do not take into account the significantly changing Michigan weather, nor do they always take into account the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.   I’m still not giving myself the significant rest that I need in order to fully recuperate from races and other activities that I push myself to do.   And last but not least, it’s become painfully obvious that I am dealing with another food intolerance that I have yet to figure out what to do about.

One of the biggest obstacles that come up for my clients when doing intuitive readings, or even just in discussion in pagan circles is the fact that we regularly are forced to be face to face with those things that shake us up.  These are things that come up again and again, even though we try to ignore them.  Or perhaps we try to push them away, thinking that we just ‘don’t have time’ to work on them right now.  We don’t even realize we are pushing them away because we don’t want to work on them.  Instead, we rationalize why it’s not a big deal to push it away just a little longer because you have more important things to deal with at the time.

As pagans, one of the biggest things we hear from others is that in order to grow, we must look into that which we are afraid of and overcome those things to the best of our ability.  It’s so common to hear now that it’s joked about a lot, especially when new people come and ask to learn, unaware of what they are truly getting themselves into.  So we go about our day, expecting these hard obstacles to be metaphysical.  Perhaps the challenge from the Gods will be to do a journey, perhaps to learn to build a ritual, or work with a divinatory tool.  No one ever expects the challenge to be something as mundane as dealing with your own shortcomings and weaknesses as a human being.

The Gods want us to look at all facets of our life.  And why wouldn’t they?  To overcome obstacles in every aspect in your life makes you a better tool for the Gods.  It allows you to better hear them and be able to more easily discern what it is that you think you hear vs what you want to hear.  Someone who works on all facets of their lives become more able to raise the energies of those around them.   You become more powerful just by recognizing the shortcoming in the first place and learning to find ways around it when you can.

Most of the time, those challenges and shortcomings that we have in other facets of our lives are HARD.  They are the ones that we try to hide from the most, because they tie to issues so very deep within us that it shakes our foundations to deal with them.  These aren’t the issues that take a week or two to fix.  These are issues that take years to tackle and deal with.  The Gods know this, and don’t expect a quick fix.  This isn’t going to be something a single spell is going to fix.  No one is going to be able to tell you what to do, and no one will take the burden from you.

This is when the spiritual obstacles become real.  This is when you will truly test your strength and your resolve.  Will you fall?  Absolutely.  I know I have.  Will you ever fully win?  Maybe not in this lifetime, but that isn’t the reason for the obstacle in the first place.  This is when you finally have the chance to prove everything that you have vowed to your Gods in the first place.  Do you truly believe you have the strength to overcome obstacles?  Do you truly love yourself and recognize that you are worthy?  Do you practice what you preach to others about tolerance and respect for others?

And the question that arises for me right now – Can I take care of myself just as much as I tell my clients to, and do I accept myself as I truly am in this life, or is all of it lip service?

I’m going to chew on that one for a while as I start making plans for an elimination diet and re-configuring my exercise and rest schedule….

Photo from Deviant Art

It’s OK to not be one side or the other

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My greatest challenges in learning to form my own opinions have happened this week.  With all of the events happening right here and now, many of my friends have started to post about what ‘side’ they are taking.  Memes are littering my Facebook feed that alter from making me shocked to making me upset, and occasionally I even agree and ‘like’ one of them.

But the biggest challenge has been when I post one of my own.  Recently, it was one regarding the state of education in the United States (yep, it’s in a bad state).  And immediately a Facebook friend took me to task for being ‘anti teacher’.

Now the meme had nothing to do with teachers.  Instead, it said that the education system needs to be fixed to help straighten out the mess that would ensure someone like Donald Trump would be voted in as a political candidate.  But immediately, the “us” vs. “them” started.  And even though I started giving examples of why I agreed that the teachers weren’t always the problem, I walked away from the posts being frustrated.

There is a lot of bias in this world.  Everyone has a bias – there is no getting around that.  If you think, you have opinions, and you judge input coming into you by those opinions.  And in today’s world where the media is for whatever reason focused on the negativity, or is biased based on the needs of the media source, opinions have become very sharp.  People expect you to either be with them, or against them in your beliefs.  The common ground has shrunken significantly, like I experienced with my teaching Facebook friend.

This environment of acute opinions and taking sides has caused significant harm, and I think there is a lot more harm that people don’t realize that is being done.  A whole generation of young people are watching what we do; watching social media and seeing the comments and arguments.  They are watching Fox News and learning from their parents how to be on the ‘right’ side, and to hate the ‘wrong’ side.

I especially have felt the harm caused by being ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.  When I was growing up, I was always questioning things.  I won’t go into details, as I’ve had past posts that have had examples, at least from a religion standpoint.  But realize that same frame of mind my family had was not just limited to religious beliefs.  If I had questions about a specific preference, why someone dressed the way they did, why I grew up in a specific school or anything that might sound like it challenged my parent’s comfort zone of beliefs, I was slapped down.   ‘Because that was just the way we ARE,’ they would say.  ‘Because we don’t associate with THEM,’ was another one.   And my favorite, ‘Because that is what we BELIEVE.’

Well, Why DO we believe that?  No answer.  Or that is when I would be sent away, sent to my room, or the subject would be changed.

It’s only now when I’m 41 years old that I realize the problems that upbringing had on me.  Not that I share those limiting opinions, but because I was never ALLOWED to ASK questions, or VOICE MY OWN opinion.  Because I got slapped down, I never was able to learn to talk with someone of a differing opinion and understand why they were that way.  I was never able to understand and speak to why I believe the way I do.

Fast forward to the current time.  Now I deal with the fact that I am actually afraid to put my opinions out there because others would not approve, and even worse, belittle me for what I believe.   That’s what I got when I was young after all!

I don’t know if it is because of all the ways I was ‘slapped down’ as a child, or if it is because of being the type of person I am now, but there is one very big thing that I am trying to do as I heal from this tidbit of abuse I suffered growing up.  And that very big thing is trying to be understanding.

People can have opinions and beliefs that they stick to.  They can fiercely defend those beliefs all they want.  But they have to accept that others may have a differing opinion, and that they can agree and disagree on the smaller points within those issues without losing face.

  • You can accept the rights of gun owners and still want stricter legislation.
  • You can accept that there is a significant problem with the treatment of minorities in this country and still believe that there are good police that do their job every single day.
  • You can be a democrat and recognize that some republicans actually have good ideas.
  • You can recognize that we have a lot of good teachers in our education system. And we have some really putrid ones too.
  • You can accept the fact the black lives matter movement has some serious points of contention and not be racist.
  • You can recognize that the terms Pagan and Heathen have personal meanings for different people.
  • You can be a happy christian and understand that other people have other religions that are different than you and still fulfill the same purpose as you.

Where I will draw the line however is when someone deliberately doesn’t get their facts straight.  If you aren’t actively seeking out media that has as minimal bias as possible; if you are getting your facts from ‘wehategunowners.com’, or ‘liberalmediasucks.com’ or whatever sites that are out there that focus on one side or the other, then there is a serious issue.  We have to be willing to look at other people’s beliefs and understand why they have them.  And the people we are trying to understand have to be willing to show what they believe without fear that they will be mocked, and have the courage to put their belief out there with the possibility that better facts may come along that don’t support it anymore.  And when those facts come along, we all have to have the strength to recognize the stance is outdated, and it’s time to move on.

So one thing I can say from my upbringing, at least I understand from it now what not to be.  I don’t want to be someone who believes something because that is what they were told.  I want the facts, I want to understand the issues.

It’s hard to be the one to reach out and try to ask those questions.  It’s taking me a lot of courage to do so, especially because I am so very afraid I’m going to be punished for it still.  But I believe it is something that needs to be done.  And perhaps someone will see my actions and try to start thinking the same way.

Photo from Deviant Art