Hate Over Connections

Take your prayers and thoughts and shove it
We made this mess, we live it
Day by day, night by night
The burning of the world never ends

So you don’t think you had an effect?
When was the last time you tried to act?
No, ACT
Not Cry
Not beg
Not pray
ACT – with a vote?
A call?
Donate?
Or volunteer?
Or ask why?

Did you try?  No, you didn’t.
Too afraid of loosing your hate?
The hate sitting in your bones
Your mind?
Your heart?
Too afraid to lose “us” vs “them”?
Afraid of the human under that skin?

Afraid of that connection?
That touch
That knowing
That feeling
You don’t give a fuck about all that
Or anyone but yourself
Let them die,
Let them burn
You’ve got more important things to do
Like fighting for YOUR rights
YOUR religion
YOUR free speech
YOUR right to be loud and free
It’s YOUR gun, YOUR Ammo
And that’s alright
Cuz your rights just killed again
And Again
And Again

So cherish that hate
that blessed emotion
Keep it close so we don’t touch

And the world will burn

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Insight And Premonition: A Poem Of Sight

Tired and weary I went
Up is down and down is up
To seek some sort of peace
Or an ear for my lament

The journey was not soothing
Joyful colors gave no solace
Signs of life noted, not happily
I simply tread on, smiles unstirring

I reached the place of choosing
And spoke my questions all
In the hopes I would find answers
And actions of the Gods, approving

The seer came out, awakened
And stared deeply within
My mind and the world known was reviewed
Until the voice rang out, unshaken

“The life you choose is your own.
They have chosen for themselves.
Dearest one, you know it cannot change
What has grown cannot be unsown”

“Reach out to those that hurt
Find solace in the joining
Share the strength together
Accept that all still play a part”

“Guard thy magic well
Attend to thy wounds carefully
Time for change will be at hand
But for now, hurts will still prevail.”

“I know you wish for more
Perhaps a nicer tale of change?
Know it sits, patiently waiting
Soon to be set for your ever more”

“I hear thy mind race for answers
Trying to make sense or find meaning
Perhaps no sense is what is meant, for now
Instead use thy heart to heal thy cancer”

The seer said nothing further
It was not the comfort I sought
Instead, everything & nothing was said
And now I must leave, ever the wiser

Come Back to Battle

It came to me today
The picture, freshly taunting
Salt to the wound, it was
The battlefield, always haunting

My eyes filled, my heart ached
Memories came flooding back
Of wasted time, wrapped in fear
And battle skills I sorely lacked

Courage had I, Heart too
It took all that I had
Just to wear the colors
And to hold my sword, armor clad

Oh to go back then
Just to try once more
Prove what I say I was
The Lady Fighter in that war

Now, body broken, spirit still healing
I stare as the picture speaks
It whispers hope if I let it
Yet also taunts me in its shrieks

I grow stronger now, yet cannot tell
What the fates have in store for me
Perhaps yet I can answer the call
Perhaps yet, I could still be.

 

Poem: Blessing of the Sun

Standing in the meadow
The sun high above
It reaches all around me
No surface is untouched

The light touches my soul
It reaches every piece of me
The brightness radiates
Blessing my sight with clarity

The light touches my past
I see that which was kept hidden
The light touches the present
That which is true for me now

I see now, the many sides
How multifaceted gifts are
Life grows in many ways
Always nourished by the sun

Now understanding,
It’s time for gentle rest
Hearts open, accepting all that is
I am thankful and happy

 

Photo from Deviant Art

The Walk

Storming away I go
Muscles tight, poised for flight
Can’t I go further faster?

Down the hill, around the bend
Trees in sight sway slowly
Into the different world

Violets, whites and greens greet me
Dragonflies send their thoughtful hello
Over the bridge
Silence grows louder

Anticipation grows
Heard before seen
The babbling chimes begin
As the friendly stream winds its way

Left turn into green glossiness
Dried death left as new life explodes
Surprised squeals and rustling with no origin

Halfway through, absurdities peek in
Dismissed by sight of something…
Whoops!  She saw me!!

Smiles take me to the scary stillness
Floating nearby, maybe gone too soon?
I wonder

Walk across the way
one last encore, over the bridge
one last babble, last patch of white and purple

Thankful for the journey, I think about going again

Awakenings: The Day After

I’m currently in week three of the program called “The Artist’s Way”.  This is a very successful program that allows artists of any medium to remove the blocks stopping them from achieving their greatest potential.  The program has been around for over 20 years and is very effective.  There have been quite a few popular writers who credit the book with allowing them to write their first bestsellers.

The Artist’s Way is a book you must be ready for.  Several years ago when I first received the book as a gift, I quickly realized that going through the book was something that would take a lot of work.  I wasn’t ready to put in the time and energy to do so.  Therefore, the book went onto a shelf, forgotten, until I was reminded of it again by the person who gifted me the book in the first place.  She decided to go through the program again, and was excited at the results of the first several weeks.  Encouraged by her words, I decided to give it a try again.  And I’m glad I did, as the book has become the next logical step for me on my spiritual journey.

The first two weeks of the program deal with the baggage that we pick up and carry in our lives.  That baggage stops us from opening our creative and spiritual outlets.  This is Shadow Work at its deepest levels.  The book encourages you to go into those moments of baggage; the moments where you felt crushed, belittled and beaten down to the point where you decided that it wasn’t worth trying anymore.  Once there, you work through them by doing the exercises spelled out in the book to let them go.  The more you work with these moments, the more you open yourself up to the possibilities of reaching deeper creative potential.  (Or, in some circles, one would call it reaching the divine energy within each of us and allowing it to come to the surface in creative endeavors.)

Now that I’ve gotten through weeks one and two, I can see more opportunities for me to start writing, something I haven’t done since my childhood.  Poems have started to flow from my thoughts, and I’ve been inspired to start writing fictional work again.  I’m excited that I’ve reached this point.  It’s very much like the first initiation into a bigger world of opportunity and wonder.

Now, on week three, the author speaks to some of the synchronicity that can happen during this stage of the program.  If we truly have stuck with the exercises and gone deep, we have released some of the blocks to our creativity.  Now the path is clearing and we are open to new things to come into our lives and change us for the better.   The author speaks to possibilities of a class opening up, meeting the right person to mentor us, or any number of opportunities that can happen once we are opening ourselves back up.

I’ve been here before.  You and countless others have also been here before.  This is where the Gods/The Universe/whatever creative force you believe in starts paving the way for you to make permanent and lasting changes in your life.  You have been given the first bites of how a higher state of energy feels; an amuse-bouche of the clarity, wisdom and connection you will have.  Here is the opportunity to become more authentic to yourself and to grow in power and strength.  This is a beautiful and exciting place to be.  This is the flash of insight and surge of power we get after an initiation.  This is the “a-HA” moment of realization.  This is the decision that is finally made, the opportunity and resources that become available, or even the push of another door closing that forces you on the path you were meant to walk.

Everything is aligning the right way and it’s all there for the taking.  But are you ready?  Are you ready for the hard work that happens after the spiritual awakening or the initiation?  Sure, we have the moment of clarity, we feel altered, more in tune with the earth or with the Gods.  We feel the power within our hands, we see the path and opportunities open before us and we want to feel this way for the rest of our lives.  But these opportunities aren’t going to stay open without work.

Whenever we are trying to better ourselves in anything – school, career, personal life, physical changes to our bodies – everything we attempt to change pushes us to come to a point like this.  Any time we try to make ourselves better we first start to uncover the path, and now we need to change the daily habits to allow us to walk that path, one foot at a time.

So, how do you start to walk that path?  Perhaps we must radically change the way we eat, live, move or work to keep that moment of clarity in the forefront of our mind.  Perhaps we need to figure out the best way for us to get rid of habits, or take the time to meditate on why we have the habit in the first place.  Perhaps we need to learn to trust the new energy in our bodies more and not be as reactive to the negativity of others.

We can even have help to do these things.  Perhaps a new app, a new piece of jewelry or an affirmation posted to our bathroom mirror is enough to engage that spiritual energy within us, to remind us of the place we opened to and dared to go.  Maybe checking in with a mentor or teacher is a possibility.  If we feel like we need help on this journey, we will get what we need to stay on the path, as long as we choose to keep trying.

But keep trying we must.  Just because we ask for a crutch or additional aids doesn’t mean we are not relieved of our own work.  We can try getting up earlier all we want to do the meditations or prayers of gratitude.  But the alarm clock will only get us up if we stop hitting the snooze button.

And we must be vigilant with our changes.  Studies have shown that it takes a minimum of 21 days to get into a habit.  But drop that new habit, even for a day or two after those 21 days, and you may find yourself right back where you started.  No wonder most gyms in the United States get insanely busy in January, but die out in February.

The good news in this is that if we can’t make the change in habit or action, we will get another opportunity to do so.  Perhaps the class date will pass, perhaps the memory of the initiation falls away.  But another class will become available when you are ready.  The initiation energy and attunement is still there and still open, ready to be utilized.  If you have the will to keep trying, the opportunity will stay open.

Sometimes however the opportunity takes time to present itself again. I was reminded of “The Artists’ Way” about five years after I was first gifted the book.  I’m very glad I picked it up this time around.  And next time I hope I don’t have to wait another five years for the opportunity.

 

 

Photo from Deviant Art

Sometimes

Sometimes you hurt so much you cry
But that is the least of what it can do
Instead you push on, through the daily lie
Until you yourself don’t know if it’s true

Sometimes you are so tired you could scream
Simple tasks become unachievable feats
No longer can you do what you dream
A couch and bed now your only domain

Sometimes you get mad enough to push through
Pick up the sword, it’s time to go fight
Overcome the challenge, and create ones anew
Don’t expect anything to be easy

Sometimes you don’t dare speak the truth
Pain?  So what??  I have my own!
You are no different, we are all robbed of youth
You can’t prove you are any worse off

Sometimes I wish for better care
That one magic pill that would set me free
Instead, oil salesmen sell their wares
Sure!  I can help!  For a huge fee

Sometimes I hope and dare to do more
A full-time job, exercise and activity
Fake it till you make it, just one more chore
Push through till it hurts just to breathe

Sometimes I dream for more activity
Close friends, girls nights out, parties and shopping
Instead I get shut down aggressively
How dare you make plans in your condition??

Sometimes I still dare for more
Sometimes I’ll keep trying
Sometimes I get it
Sometimes