I have been away from my blog for the past two weeks, but it wasn’t because I wanted to be. Instead, I got hit by the current round of the flu. And this wasn’t just any flu. This was the ‘not-keeping-anything-down-or-up-my-head-is-going-to-explode-wow-does-this-hurt’ flu.
I’m lucky in that the seasonal stuff rarely puts me down. The last round of the flu I was hit with was years ago. But when I do get hit with it, I go down hard. Even now, two weeks after the initial onset, I’m still not fully back to what I think of as my ‘normal’ physical state.
Now I’ve realized however, that it wasn’t totally the flu that put me down for that long. I mean yes, I did have a virus that I had to get out of my body. But the recovery time is taking a lot longer because of things that I am doing, or not doing. In short, I’m not treating myself very well.
Because I’m still trying to cope with my limited amount of activity, my diet has gotten to the point where comfort food is almost always at the top of my choices (and goes without saying that the comfort food of my choosing is always the fat or sugar laden kind). I’m still trying to do more than my body can handle as my current exercise levels do not take into account the significantly changing Michigan weather, nor do they always take into account the fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I’m still not giving myself the significant rest that I need in order to fully recuperate from races and other activities that I push myself to do. And last but not least, it’s become painfully obvious that I am dealing with another food intolerance that I have yet to figure out what to do about.
One of the biggest obstacles that come up for my clients when doing intuitive readings, or even just in discussion in pagan circles is the fact that we regularly are forced to be face to face with those things that shake us up. These are things that come up again and again, even though we try to ignore them. Or perhaps we try to push them away, thinking that we just ‘don’t have time’ to work on them right now. We don’t even realize we are pushing them away because we don’t want to work on them. Instead, we rationalize why it’s not a big deal to push it away just a little longer because you have more important things to deal with at the time.
As pagans, one of the biggest things we hear from others is that in order to grow, we must look into that which we are afraid of and overcome those things to the best of our ability. It’s so common to hear now that it’s joked about a lot, especially when new people come and ask to learn, unaware of what they are truly getting themselves into. So we go about our day, expecting these hard obstacles to be metaphysical. Perhaps the challenge from the Gods will be to do a journey, perhaps to learn to build a ritual, or work with a divinatory tool. No one ever expects the challenge to be something as mundane as dealing with your own shortcomings and weaknesses as a human being.
The Gods want us to look at all facets of our life. And why wouldn’t they? To overcome obstacles in every aspect in your life makes you a better tool for the Gods. It allows you to better hear them and be able to more easily discern what it is that you think you hear vs what you want to hear. Someone who works on all facets of their lives become more able to raise the energies of those around them. You become more powerful just by recognizing the shortcoming in the first place and learning to find ways around it when you can.
Most of the time, those challenges and shortcomings that we have in other facets of our lives are HARD. They are the ones that we try to hide from the most, because they tie to issues so very deep within us that it shakes our foundations to deal with them. These aren’t the issues that take a week or two to fix. These are issues that take years to tackle and deal with. The Gods know this, and don’t expect a quick fix. This isn’t going to be something a single spell is going to fix. No one is going to be able to tell you what to do, and no one will take the burden from you.
This is when the spiritual obstacles become real. This is when you will truly test your strength and your resolve. Will you fall? Absolutely. I know I have. Will you ever fully win? Maybe not in this lifetime, but that isn’t the reason for the obstacle in the first place. This is when you finally have the chance to prove everything that you have vowed to your Gods in the first place. Do you truly believe you have the strength to overcome obstacles? Do you truly love yourself and recognize that you are worthy? Do you practice what you preach to others about tolerance and respect for others?
And the question that arises for me right now – Can I take care of myself just as much as I tell my clients to, and do I accept myself as I truly am in this life, or is all of it lip service?
I’m going to chew on that one for a while as I start making plans for an elimination diet and re-configuring my exercise and rest schedule….
Photo from Deviant Art