“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
~ Howard Thurman
Over the year that I have been working with Loki, Sigyn and Odin, I have found a happiness that I never thought was possible within religion. In all of my years as a practicing Christian, I never felt the Christian God the way I feel the ones that I am working with now. Yes, the Christian God felt alive to me, but I didn’t “feel” like one of “his” children. Even when I was doing other pagan and Wiccan practices, I never felt so close to the Gods as I do now. The more devotional things I do for Odin, Sigyn and Loki, the more I feel and hear them.
I wonder if in today’s constant strife regarding the role of religion if this is something that we are lacking. We see a lot of posts about how and what people think about their Gods, their practice and what other people should or shouldn’t do, but we aren’t seeing many posts about how we FEEL about our Gods. Perhaps if we looked at how we feel about our Gods, and in turn how they feel about us, we wouldn’t have as much argument. It doesn’t matter how we find our own ways to get there, but in the end, if you are content with your practice and feel the connections to the Gods, then that connection can be a starting point to reach out to other religions.
My connections to my Gods make me feel alive. They soothe my soul and make me feel whole. Odin helps me to understand that I do not know everything, and that I have a long road to get to the level of understanding that I want to be at. He recognizes that I have value in who I am and in what I do, and that I’m not afraid of going outside that which I know in order to get something done, especially in his honor.
My connection to Loki is one that is very hard to describe. I feel his passion and fire within me, and that has gotten me through rough times, especially when I am having a hard time with my chronic pain. Loki also helps me learn to accept all of myself. This includes those pieces of me that I feel are less than desirable. I’m allowed to be angry, I’m allowed to dislike things. But I am also allowed to recognize those feelings but that I don’t have to DO anything about them. I can let things go as they may; I don’t have to make everything right for everyone, or even for myself. And while I am not constantly on the lookout for the rug to be pulled out from under me in some aspect of my life, I recognize that it may happen. And when it does, I am enough to do whatever it is that is needed to make the best out of the situation.
Sigyn is a much deeper lady than anyone gives her credit for. To know her is to know that there are other aspects of her that she does not show to many. She is the consoler, but she also does not let people shirk their duties because of their pain. She asks of you to do what it is you can, to find the limit and work to it, then to recognize that that is enough. Some days those limits are higher than others. Sometimes they are much lower. Either way, that is OK. She also teaches that once you have met the limit, Rest for your body and for your soul is always necessary. She is the champion of us who have chronic illness, a lady of quiet wisdom and strength, and a child of wonder and awe. She is someone you must sit with for a time as she must know you before she opens herself to you.
Some readers may also remember that I am the holder of a medicine pipe of Native American traditions. This relationship too has been solidified over the year. I am not as afraid as I once was of the power that likes within the sumac and pipestone. Instead, I recognize that its purpose is to help heal and teach those who are within its influence. Ceremonies with the pipe are not things that happen often, but when they do, they will need to be done very carefully and purposefully. And even when the pipe is in its bags, proper respect is still expected. I find myself still giving offerings to it whenever I feel it is necessary. Finally, the pipe doesn’t have to be out to speak. It will speak to whomever it needs to, whenever the time is right.
A year ago I made pacts with these Gods that I would renew within a year and a day so long as they still wanted me, and I still felt comfortable with them. Now I recognize that the connections that I have made with them will last much, much longer. And I am absolutely OK with this. It feels so nice to finally find a home. It just took me throwing out some of the things that others taught and feeling my way through my own truth.
Perhaps speaking about these connections will help others speak about their own feelings regarding their relationships with the Gods. Perhaps they will think on how they feel, and recognize that we all have a common starting point; the joy and comfort the Gods bring as well as the continuous lessons that we receive on a day to day basis. I don’t expect this post to change all that. But it might get some people thinking at least about expressing their own connections to divinity. And even if it doesn’t, I’m still happy at the fact that I can express the relationships that I have had a hand in making for myself.
Photo from Deviant Art.