On New Years Day, I have tendency to wake up with a feeling of dread. It seems to me that years past have either been great, or horrible. There is normally no in-between. By February of the year I start to figure out what type of year it will be, so the month of January is one of anxiety and stress.
This year I am happy to say that I did not wake up with that dread. And while I still have some apprehension, I am more optimistic. 2015 brought me the gift of starting to feel better in my own skin, of recognizing that I am worthy, strong and beautiful, and that I can handle things much better because I recognize my worth. So with that in mind, I realize now that I am more in control of how my year goes.
This new thinking has also changed my opinion on New Years resolutions. So many people think thoughts about fitness, diet and health around this time of year, but they do it for the wrong reasons. They think that this will be the year that they become the person they want to be, instead of looking at becoming more of the person they truly are. They don’t like themselves, have low self worth or just all around hate their body. So the New Years resolution just becomes another vehicle to hate themselves with when they set themselves up for failure. And boy have I been there.
So this year is going to be a little different. This year I shall let the feeling of being enough, of being worthy, strong and beautiful settle deep into my bones, so that I do not lose this memory again. I am also going to start structuring my practice around this, doing more things that feel authentic to me, and worry less about what the lore or common belief holds. Yes those are things to take into consideration, but if I really wanted a book of ancient writings and someone to spoon feed my belief to me in order to tell me what specifically to do and not to do with my life I would have stayed a Christian. To me, Paganism is more about finding what your own path truly is, becoming more authentic to yourself, becoming more active in worship and working to make this world better.
So with these things in mind, I want to present two altar spaces that I have created in my home over the past several months that I want to develop regular practices with. First, my house vaettir altar. This altar has been in the works for awhile, and now that I am figuring out more variations on my offerings I wanted a place to do that which is more permanent. Currently the cauldron holds incense that was burnt last night to cleanse my home before the new year.
Second, I have moved my ancestor altar to another area of the house where it is more visible, and thus I remember to utilize it more often. Currently my altar holds a small pipe of tobacco for my Native Ancestors and jewelry from my Grandmothers who have both passed. I also have mead as an offering right now on the altar.