One year later, a Story about reclaiming Strength

December 24, 2014 at roughly 3pm I was driving down a local highway to get to my family’s Christmas celebration.  It was raining, so I was going slower as I approached a blind curve in the highway.

On the other side of that blind curve was a Ford Escape, fully stopped, right in my lane.

I tried to stop.  I couldn’t.  My brakes locked up on the wet pavement.    I could have veered into the shoulder, but I would have killed the police officer standing there.  I could have gone into the other lane, but I would have hit the car right beside me and pushed them down a hill and into more oncoming traffic.

So I did the best I could do…told my husband we are going to hit, and continuously pumped the breaks to slow down the car.  I think I was able to get it to roughly 60 miles per hour before we crashed.

My Ford Fusion was totaled from the accident.  The cop standing on the shoulder of the highway saw the entire thing.  He told me it wasn’t my fault.  He said that probably four times.  Everyone walked away. But yet I held onto that accident for a number of months afterward.  I still find that I hold onto it, especially during rainstorms and bad driving weather, but the anxiety attacks I had right after and during last winter have decreased significantly.

This really was a ‘Shit Happens’ type of thing.  I was in the wrong lane at the wrong time.  It wasn’t my fault, yet the event weakened my personal power and how I felt about myself. Some people would argue that I let this event take my personal power away, I would argue back that it is the cost of being human.  We are meant to grow from things that happen to us.  We are meant to have things that happen that we don’t immediately know how to deal with, but learn to work our way through.  And even though it feels like it is unbearable at times,  the Gods don’t give you something to deal with that you are not ready for.

Our Gods are destructive at times.  They do what it is that needs to be done.  There are countless stories of them facing fears, diving into the darkness and experiencing pain.  Perhaps because of that, we honor them by how we deal with our strife.  Perhaps we honor them by dealing with our own personal issues, our anger, our anxiety and our pain.  We overcome and become stronger in their honor.

Tomorrow is that one year anniversary.  I plan on going to my family’s home to celebrate Christmas.  For me, I think that will be the ultimate test of overcoming.  I might just take a different road, even though it would be a much longer drive, or I take that highway.  I will figure that part out later.

May the blessings of this holiday season be many for all.

Advertisements

Author: Karlesha

I am a martial artist, historical fencer, yogi, runner, intuitive / empath, diviner and pagan. My passion is learning about myself, where I fit in the world and where I can do the most good.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s