Warning – language & descriptions of violence
This is not how I wanted to spend my Friday at work. I didn’t want to sit here forcing myself to stay calm while inside I was walking a fine line between being so fucking angry I want to punch holes in my office walls and wanting to hug every non-Christian that I work with.
But that is what I am right now. And I don’t think those feelings are going to go away anytime soon, so I have to find a place to put them.
So I’m writing.
Despite my background in sword and martial arts training, I actually am a fairly passive person. I do regular mindfulness work and have come to realize many of the things that I used to get mad about were not really worth it. There were many times I would be mad at something that I had no control over, and all I was doing was losing energy to a worthless cause. (And losing personal energy while also dealing with an autoimmune disease is a huge issue)
But I still have a solid anger streak, and I can blame my ancestry for that. When my father gets pissed, he scares people, and it’s the same with me. If you have hurt my family or done something this despicable, I don’t care who the hell you are…I’ll go toe to toe with you and curse you with my last breath if you have purposefully hurt that which I love.
And today that anger is front and center. Some piss-ant-piece-of-sludge-that-calls-himself-human decided to hurt people in the name of a God I hold dear. And if that wasn’t enough, this cockroach went after a group of people already reeling from the way they have been treated across the world – all because they choose to worship and act differently than a so-called Christian/white norm. And I’m outraged and pissed.
This thing-that-walks does not speak for me. This rotten piece of flesh doesn’t speak for my Heathen friends, and it damn well doesn’t speak for a majority of the population of Heathens around the world. I don’t give a flying fuck what this piece of shit thinks is ‘right’ or how many ‘truths’ it thinks it has found in a historical text about my God being exclusive to one supposed ‘race’. This trash is dead wrong. And so are all of the other bottom feeders that believe the same thing. The only thing I see when I look at people who try to persuade others that there is an ‘exclusive’ race is a bunch of people who are upset that their dicks are too short and need to compensate for it.
My Gods are not about being exclusive anything. My Gods deem you worthy in what you do, how much you learn, how much you grow, and how well you stand on your own two feet. They aren’t Gods that ‘forgive’ you for doing something wrong. They ask instead what you are going to do to make things right in the eyes of those you hurt and in the eyes of your tribe and community. To walk a Heathen path is to consume the real truth of the world…not to exclude but to let others live their lives the way they choose. To be Heathen is to protect those who cannot speak for themselves and to learn to be whole in spirit. To be Heathen is to care for those too weak from their own trials until they can stand strong once again to live their own truths.
I do not kneel to my Gods, but I do bow as I would to a sabumnim in honor and respect of what they teach, and I do my damnedest to honor my own truth and principles.
And it is these principles and this anger that speaks now.
This miscreant will never speak for me. This malefactor will never know the understanding and truth of the Gods. The wrongdoer has done a deed so hideous that soon it will be time to make up for the pain caused to 49 people, to 49 families, to the local community and country. There is also the dealings caused against those of us who truly understand what it means to walk a Heathen path in this day and age; those of us who fight day in and day out to show that we are not that which hates others.
May his body rot in Hel, infested in maggots. May he feel the pain of each and every bite in his rotten flesh to start to atone for the pain that was caused. May he truly understand his wrongdoing so that his punishment is even more severe in his mind. And when the Goddess feels he has had enough of the rotting punishment may he be made whole again only to be cut by a dull knife into as many pieces as people he has hurt or has caused to grieve today.
Then let his spirit be given to those who scream for vengeance.